Every time I think of her I cry. I think does she love me? I feel pain on the inside but put on a happy face for everyone. My friends, would they care if I went to boarding school? Would they even remember me? What would happen to my sister? How would she do in life? What do I do if i'm in pain? What if I cant tell anyone my true feelings? I'm scared about how they would react. My friends are they really my friends? Do they really like me? I feel like crying but dont. What am I going to do in the future? If I have a future. Why do I even feel like this? Why have I pushed people away when I thought that they where pushing me away? I'm not sure what to do anymore. Do I love or push that away? Do I overcome my shyness or do I keep it? If you wish to be me, you dont want to. My 'friends' tell me to stop, go away, shut the f*** up. Why are they so cruel when they dont even know what i'm going through? If they where to read this they would say that its a piece of c***.